Onedatewonderjen's Blog

Met a friend out last night, and started talking to a guy, just cause I’m a Louisiana girl and would talk to the wall if it would stay still long enough, and he dumped on my his story of how he’s getting a divorce, but didn’t ask for it, and how he was taken by surprise by it, and blah, blah, blah.  I acted interested, but I wished I could find a way out of the conversation because it was just awkward.  He then asked about me; So are you married?  Nope.  Are you in a relationship?  Nope.  Are you a Lesbian?  Nope.  I looked at him with the strangest face after he asked me if I was a Lesbian and told him…I’m single, it’s not a bad thing.  Then he back peddled is thinking, but I really was done with the conversation by this point.

But – this Forced Divorced Man got me thinking…Why is the option of being single a bad one?  Because from where I’m standing today, it’s really not all that bad.


{November 26, 2010}   The “Ex” Factor

Have you ever lived in “Cinderella World” (I live there a lot) and thought, “If only I and (Fill in the blank with an ex’s name) could get back together, everything would be perfect.”?  And then you run into them, or spend time with them, or even get back together and realize…There was a reason why we didn’t work out.

And you walk away from the experience so happy about the fact that the relationship didn’t work out.  Doesn’t that just make you feel good?  🙂

{November 17, 2010}   Private Number

So – yet again – this story comes from meeting a dude off of the internet….

We email back and forth for a while and I give him my number, because I all honesty, I don’t want an “email friend”, I’m not in 4th grade any more and pen pals aren’t what I’m looking for.  If I was, I would mail my 4th grade pen pal.

So he calls me, but blocks his number, I don’t think anything of it, because after my last few dates, I wish I would have blocked my number from them!  So, we talk and things seem okay, and we talk about where we want to get together for a date.  I suggest just meeting at a bar for a drink, he tell me that he doesn’t drink so that won’t work.  I suggest coffee then, he says that’s not really what he had in mind….it was a constant, “no, your idea sucks” feeling, so finally I asked him what did he want to do….and he responded bowling.  Now – I HATE bowling, so I tried to explain to him that bowling is not my favorite thing, I actually think I told him that I hate it with passion.  I would have thought he would have said – oh, okay and suggest something different.  Nope, he didn’t, he continued to push the idea of bowling.  It was a good fifteen minute conversation about HE feels comfortable there, and HE really likes to bowl, and HE, and HE, and HE…so finally I just said – fine, whatever, I’ll go bowling…

Well, I went bowling, it wasn’t horrible and we even set up another date.

That day rolls around, and it was a little crazy because my mom was coming in for a visit and I had to make sure that my house was “mom” cleaned, he calls – blocks his number again, to confirm where we were going to meet and all that jazz.  And of coarse I’m running late, and should have left my house 10 minutes ago, and I told him that, and he got a little frustrated, but I just let him know that things happen.  While I was on the phone with him, I tried to open my garage door and it wouldn’t open, and with my car in the garage, that’s a problem.  He automatically assumed I was going to cancel (and in hind-sight, I think he thought I was trying to stand him up) but I assured him that I wasn’t but if he would give me his number, I would call him back after I figured out why my garage wouldn’t open.  He then got all flabbergasted and insisted that HE would call me back in 10 minutes, because I should have it fixed by then….I think I told him that he was being an ass, but whatever.  So, I get out of my garage, he calls me back, with his number blocked – AGAIN and we meet to go eat sushi.  We walk into the sushi place about 10 minutes before they close for the afternoon and walk straight to a booth.  I asked him if it was okay that we are here and maybe we should go to another place that’s not about to close, when he informed me that he knew the owner and it was cool…THEN he pulled out his cell phone, and called the owner, instead of walking the 50 feet to the sushi bar to let him know we were there….awkward!

So our waiter comes over, Private Number orders at least 10 rolls and then he said  – get yours…I wasn’t taken a back at the amount of sushi rolls he ordered, but I was taken a back at how he barked at me to order, that I was tongue tied, taken very off guard, and just caught by surprise.  I ordered my lunch and we started talking.  While talking, I open my chop sticks and start to play with the paper, he took it out of my hand, and scolded me to stop fidgeting, like my father use to, and then continued on with the conversation…so lunch wasn’t horrible and we left it open that we would talk and see each other again, but after my mom left, and even though he irked me a little, but he didn’t shy away from me calling him out on things, so I though, let’s just get to know one another and what’s the worst that could happen, I might have a new friend..right?

My mom was in town for the week, and I heard from him once, a very weird conversation indeed:

Private Number – I sent you an email – go check it.

Me – why don’t you just tell me now, cause we’re on the phone with each other?

Private Number – just check your email

….and then he hangs up, so curiosity, I go check my email, and it get’s even weirder:

Private Number  – Do you know a guy named Marice?  He’s a white guy, even though it sounds like a black dude, he drives a white SUV

Me – Nope

Private Number – Are you sure – he lives in (some town that I have NO idea where it is), he’s car is white and he has rims.

Me – No, I don’t know anyone by that name, I don’t even know where that town is, and why would I care if he was black, white, or purple, I don’t know him or his rims….

Private Number – ok, thanks

Me – Really, what is this about?

No response, and I get an unknown call/private number every once in a while – maybe it’s Private Number looking for that dude who’s white with a black name and his white SUV with rims….

{November 9, 2010}   Why?

Why is it when I meet someone that seems nice and normal, I decide to turn “gaga” over time in less than a minute?

Is it because I’ve had soooo many not so great dates, that when a good/normal date comes along, I just think they have hung the moon?  Maybe…

Or why do I automatically expect the worst when it comes to me and dating?  Why do I jump the worst possible conclusion if I don’t hear from a guy after a normal date?

Here’s what I think – I know that I want to be with my match and I know that he has to be out there.  But, I’ve been dicked over by enough guys that it’s just really, really hard to believe that he is out there.

Looking at my track record, from the outsider’s point of view, someone could assume that it’s me, and that I have a problem with commitment, when all I really want to find a committed relationship.  So – when someone – normal, or at least polite – comes around, I start living in “Cinderella World” and start thinking , and very unrealistically.  I look at my phone, almost begging it with my eyes to ring with his number or vibrate with a text message from him.  And then when he doesn’t call or text, I automatically think, there is something wrong with me, even if it’s been only a day after our first date.  With every moment of non-communication, self doubt starts to sneak in.  “I said the wrong things,  I didn’t talk enough, I talked too much, He thinks my butt is too big, I’m too ugly”, those horrible thoughts just keep playing over and over in my brain.  Where did I learn to think like this?  Why do I think like this?  Why is it sooo much easier for me to think bad about myself?   Instead of thinking, “It was a good time, but he must not be who I need”, I just keep running those negative thoughts over and over and over again in my brain.

I don’t mean to sound like a “Debbie Downer” but AAAHHHHH!!!  I can’t keep this up, I’m going to have the self esteem of, well, NOTHING!

et cetera