Onedatewonderjen's Blog

{October 20, 2010}   Fuzzy Picture = No Go

Sometimes I wonder why I don’t learn a lesson…like not cleaning the sink, means my kitchen will stink the next morning, I got that lesson down.  But when it comes to dating lessons, especially bad dates, I guess I still need to practice….

So – this guy I met online and like before, he had a good profile, could form complete sentences when we would email back and forth and when we talked on the phone, the conversations were not forced and there were no “red flags” as Oprah tell us to look for.  So we set up a first meeting.  Now I’ve learned in the past, the quicker the better, so every time we talked, I very strongly suggested that we meet for just a drink, only ONE drink.  This guy seemed like he got the message….the key word here is seemed.

We meet a Olive Garden (now my red flag warning is going off – Olive Garden???).  He told me that he had hurt his knee and asked me if I cared about that.  I found that strange, because why would it matter to me if he was on crutches…but anyway.  At least I could spot him out, all I had to do was look for the dude on crutches.

He was waiting outside for me, and walking up, he had A LOT more than just a “hurt” knee.  His leg was purple…Barney the Dinosaur purple.  I don’t discriminate, so I wouldn’t of cared if he only had one leg, the thing that I didn’t understand is when I asked him what happened, he just said and I quote, “I twisted it”.  Ummmm….really, I didn’t believe it, but I didn’t want to ask too many questions about it, I didn’t want to seem pushy.  But hiding the reason why your leg is hurt, just seems fishy to me.  We made our way into Olive Garden, and I started to notice what he was wearing.  Khaki short – which I understand why, he is on crutches for goodness sake and a black shirt.  The black shirt on the other hand I didn’t not understand and could not give him the benefit of the doubt on this, it was the wrinkliest shirt I had EVER seen.  It’s almost like he looked at the shirt, said “this is what I’m going to wear” and then rolled it up in a ball and kept it there for 45 mins.

So we make our way to the table and the waitress comes and asked if we wanted a drink.  Now – I’m thinking, yes, just a drink, that’s all we are going to have, and then I can go home, quick and easy.  Nope – Wrinkle Shirt dismisses her very quickly and then proceeds to tell me that he doesn’t drink and how he went out with a girl on a date and that’s all she did, and how horrible she was and just bashing her.  RED FLAG #1  – you don’t drink?  I know I said MANY times, let’s meet for a drink, don’t you think that would have been the time to tell me that you don’t….RED FLAG #2 – bashing a previous date to me…really, not classy…

So – no drinks, then just an appetizer, please, and then we can go….nope – wrinkle shirt opens the menu and starts to look at what he wanted to order.  I’m already to the point that I know, we are going to have NOTHING in common, and I really don’t want to have to sit through an awkward dinner, but wrinkle shirt orders dinner…great.  The only thing that I could think of was, what can I order that can be out FAST….Bruschetta – you don’t have to cook that, with NO salad and bread sticks!

So while we waited, I figured to make the best of the situation and just hold a normal conversation.  Well, that didn’t happen either.  Wrinkle shirt asked me a few questions about why I was single…RED FLAG #3 – why would any man ask that to a girl he’s on a date with?  To change the subject, I started asking him questions.  Now – I’m a teacher, so asking questions is my job, and I know how to ask a question that will promote conversations, and ALL the questions I asked were VERY open-ended, and wrinkle shirt answered them with “Nope” or “Yeah”.  Great buddy, thanks a lot!

By the time the waitress finally brought our food, I had no idea what I was going to talk to wrinkle shirt about, because he wouldn’t talk!  Between bites, I thought, I’m going to try this one more time, “So” I ask, “Are you from Florida?  Have you always lived here?”  “Nope” wrinkle shirt answers…ok thanks buddy.  Then he asks me, “So, are you from Orlando?”  “No, I’m from New Orleans” and I elaborated more.  He then says, “New Orleans, that’s where that flood happened, right?”  I’ve never been able to hide my expressions well on my face and this was a time that I KNOW he could read me like an open book.  I then replied, ” That flood – that’s called HURRICANE KATRINA.”  With that comment, I pushed back my untouched plate of bruschetta and caught eye contact with our waitress and pleaded with my eyes for her to bring the check!  Thank goodness for my waitress, because she brought the check faster than I’ve ever seen! (I wished I would have had ten buck to give her,  she could just tell I was MISERABLE and moved sooo quickly)

Wrinkle shirt finished is meal and then looked at the check.  He opened the bill and then complained about how much the meal cost and how he could have made it at home for 1/3 of the price(RED FLAG #4)….and then had the audacity to ask me to leave the tip!!!(RED FLAG #5)  I explained to him that I had NO cash, sorry dude, not going to happen!  If I wasn’t showing disgust on my face yet, I was now!

We walk out, I say good bye to him at the entrance of Olive Garden, and basically RAN to my car…I drove away and he was still hobbling to his car when i was pulling out of the parking lot.

He still calls me at least once a week………


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